THE huge ship made its way very slowly through the busy Singapore sea traffic, heading towards its berthing position opposite Sentosa Island. From the top deck, I watched as the Johor coastline gradually receded out of view, replaced by the unmistakable Singapore skyline. For me, another cruise — four very relaxing and enjoyable days — was coming to an end.

There are six types of people you are likely to meet on a cruise.

The Enthusiastic Kid. The first type of people you are likely to meet is the Enthusiastic Kid. You will spot him or her even before boarding at the departure lounge. Strapped with his Ninja Turtle kiddy bag, or pulling his own mini trolley bag, he is full of excitement as he prepares to explore a whole new world onboard. He squeals with delight as he sees a life sized Donald Duck at the end of the gangway welcoming him with a huge hug as the family boards. Later, he is quick to spot the kiddies’ swimming pool and pulling his mother’s hand towards the pool, asks, “Mum, can we go for a swim now?” When Mum answers, “Later, darling, we’re going for lunch now” the enthusiastic kid says, “I’m not hungry.” At the buffet restaurant, the kid forgets all about the swimming pool when he spots the ice creams, and goes ballistic, “Look, ice creams! Ice creams!” You cannot help but smile with joy as you watch the boundless energy of the Enthusiastic Kid as he discovers new things onboard.

The Enthusiastic Kid may not always be five or six years old. She could also be a starry-eyed 22-year old, gasping at the six bubble escalators transporting guests up and down 11 floors of the ship’s interior, or the huge chandelier hanging at the atrium, or the 800-seat theatre with a rotating stage. She steps inside one of the eleven restaurants onboard, and for a moment, gets the impression she has just entered one of the fine dining outlets at Kuala Lumpur’s Bintang Walk.

The Satisfied Customer. Another type of people you are likely to meet is the Satisfied Customer. Chances are, you will meet her sitting at the next table for lunch or dinner and you overhear her making happy remarks about the quality of the service and the food in the restaurant. Her satisfaction is not confined to the restaurants, and you hear her make happy comments about almost everything she finds on the cruise. The food is delicious and plentiful, you hear her say to her travelling companions, the organisation is professional, there is very little delay, the cabin has everything one needs, and she feels the whole package is value for money. You smile quietly when she says she will bring her parents with her for her next cruise, surely the epitomic expression of her satisfaction.

The Whiner. Unfortunately, you are also likely to meet the Whiner. He would be the classic example of the wearer of the Black Hat of Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats. He has all the negative vibes around him; the personification of complaints. To Mr Complaint, the toilet is too small and the reception of the television in his cabin is not clear enough. He grumbles that the service at the restaurant is too slow, the taste of tea is flat, and complains to the waitress that the chilli sauce he has asked for has still not been brought to him (even before the food has been placed on the table). Then over the meal, he complains that he is bored because there is nothing to do onboard. More than once, he expresses regret that he did not go to Shanghai instead. When the waitress asks if he would like to have seconds, he waves her away muttering under his breadth that the food is blend and not worthy of a second helping.

Once, a woman at a table close to mine complained to the restaurant Captain that some people at another table had come after she and her husband did, and yet the other table had been served first. I did not hear what the Captain’s explanation to her was, but with nothing else but miles and miles of ocean around us, with the ship not arriving at the next port until the next morning, I wondered where it was that she was in such a hurry to go to.

The Gorger. Another type of people you are likely to meet on a cruise is The Gorger, and you meet him at the buffet restaurant. You would be forgiven for thinking he has just done time in prison; either that, or they have just run out of plates as he takes food to feed half a dozen people because he piles food on his plate until it looks like Mount Everest. You pass his table the first time and observe the mountain of food on his plate, and your curiosity prompts you to walk pass him again later to see whether he has wolfed down all that food. You suspect he has not because he could not, and sure enough, you notice at least half his plate of food left uneaten. You also notice a plate of leftover muffins, chicken wings, and fried noodles on his table. The Gorger has evidently overestimated his gorging ability.

The Hard-Core Gambler. Another type of people you may meet is the Hard-Core Gambler, but paradoxically, you may not meet him at all throughout the entire duration of the cruise because, unlike all the other types, he does not move around the ship. In fact, he hardly moves out of his ‘corner’, which is his favourite seat at the casino.

The first time I saw him was during my walk-around in the ship’s casino. He was seated at the black-jack table, surrounded by a small pile of casino chips and a large cloud of smoke from the smokers around him. The next day, I spotted him again at exactly the same spot — the same seat at the same black-jack table. Even though the ship is huge, passengers do get to bump into one another at the restaurants, on the top viewing deck, in the lobby, inside the theatres, or in any of the other public areas, but I never got to see this man at any other place except inside the casino, and even then, he was always at the same seat at the same black-jack table. Mr Jack appeared to be able to survive on drinks, sandwiches, smoke and casino chips alone. A few months after meeting Mr Jack, I was on the same ship again and guess what? Yes, I met him again and he was again at the black-jack table.

The Courteous Staff. The last type of people you get to meet is The Courteous Staff. They are everywhere: at the atrium, in the restaurants, at the pool, and along the corridor outside your cabin. They are extremely polite and courteous, even when saying no. “Sorry sir, our restaurant is full right now, please come back at 7.” “No madam, we can’t let you have a mahjong set for free.”

It is such hospitality and service from the Courteous Staff that makes me a compulsive, hard-core, born-again cruisian. I disembarked that day, promising to be back.